Sending you all of our love at Christmas, Matthew. / Diane Rodgers (Mom)
Our Matthew, Another Christmas without you, it seems impossible still. We are all trying to get through Christmas as best we can. Missing you more and more with each passing day honey. I picture you still all over the house, in every room...remembering your face, your smile, your smirk, all of you... If only I could hug you again, look into your beautiful eyes...buy you a Christmas gift, share the celebration together with all of our family...
For now, I will continue to imagine, pretend, wish, hope, pray that all of this hasn't happened. Then I know I have to come back to reality... that for now you are there and we are here. Just know honey, how deeply you are loved, missed, and never ever forgotten.
Merry Christmas in Heaven, my Matt ... tell Jesus "Happy Birthday"... give him a hug from all of us, and tell him I am leaving you in his care until we are together again. Stay near honey.
Love to you forever and always, Mom
Thoughts on Dec. 18th, 3 1/2 years ... / Diane Rodgers (Mom) What's Normal about being reminded at every family event that without Matthew I could never find the enjoyment that I used to feel. I'm always thinking how it must feel to have all of your children safe and alive. Wondering if others know how lucky they are not to feel the overwhelming pain and grief that consumes me each day. Not feeling like a whole person because a part of me is missing. Disguising the pain that I feel each moment of every day so others will feel comfortable around me. Not sleeping at night because I can't get that horrible moment out of my head when I first learned that My Matthew died. Not caring about anything I use to care about. Not knowing what to say when asked - how many children do you have? I still say three because no matter where they are I will always have three children. Visiting a web site created for Matt just to be with him every day. Still thinking that it's all a bad dream.Still playing over in my mind how I could have prevented his death. Looking for signs each day from Matt. Suddenly realizing that I'll never see Matthew again in this life then feeling like I want to die. Seeing boys his age going to work, getting married, having a family - and having my heart sink. Being reminded of Matt all throughout the day by sights, sounds, smells and then realizing that my baby will never again come walking through the door. Not being able to explain how I feel to the people I'm the closest to. Thinking about all the things that Matthew will never get to be a part of. Knowing for the rest of my life the pain that I feel and the horrible emptiness that I feel will never go away. Normal as I knew it ended - June 18, 2005...
Matt, I will love you forever and miss you every minute of the day. You were the son every mother dreams of. Thank you for the 22 great years that we had together. In my heart I know God had a plan for you . Now you are working for him as a special angel. Please stay close to all of us and keep leaving us signs. Forever... you are in my heart... Love You Forever and Always, Until We Meet Again, Mom xox
A candle to remember, may it burn ever so bright As we look to the heavens on this very night. Beyond the stars, your dear Matthew soars Embraced by his Saviour on heaven's shores. As the angels protect him and sing his sweet name We honour his life with the glow of this flame. So we light this candle for your Matthew tonight As a symbol of our love and his Eternal Life.
Have You Ever Heard A Parent Cry... / Diane Rodgers (Mom) HAVE YOU EVER HEARD A PARENT CRY
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD A PARENT CRY AT THE SIGHT OF THEIR NEW BORN BABE SO FILLED WITH EMOTION AT WHAT THEIR LOVE HAS MADE?
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THEM CRY WHEN THEIR BABE TAKES IT'S FIRST STEPS SO TINY ON THEIR TOES THAT SIGHT WILL TAKE AWAY YOUR BREATH?
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THEM CRY AS THEY TAKE THEM TO LEAVE THEM ON THEIR VERY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL? STANDING OUTSIDE THE CLASSROOM WATCHING THEM WISHING YOU COULD TAKE THEM BACK, TO THE TIME BEFORE THE RULES?
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THEM CRY AS THEY GET TO THAT BIG GRADUATION DAY, ALL GROWN UP READY TO TACKLE THE WORLD, READY TO MAKE THEIR WAY IN THIS GREAT BIG WORLD?
I HAVE HEARD EVERY ONE OF THESE FOR THE TEARS HAVE BEEN MY VERY OWN BUT THE CRY YOU WILL HEAR AND NEVER FORGET IS THE ONE WHEN YOUR CHILD IS TAKEN FROM YOU IN BUT A MOMENT TAKEN TO OUR FATHER'S HOME
OUR HEARTS SCREAM "WHY GOD OH WHY" AS THE SOUND COMES FROM DEEP INSIDE ESCAPING FROM YOUR LIPS
"IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY" YOU HEAR YOURSELF SAY, YOU CRY FOR HELP FROM GOD, PLEASE PLEASE NOT MY BABY, NOT THIS WAY.
OH YOU WILL BEG, OH HOW YOU WILL PLEAD THAT KIND OF CRY WILL STAY WITH YOU UNTIL THE DAY THAT GOD CLOSES YOUR EYES
ONE DAY THE CRIES ARE AS FAST AS THE OCEANS WAVES CRASHING ON THE SHORES,
BUT THEN ONE DAY YOU WILL NOTICE THAT THEY'VE GOTTEN SLOWER AND SLOWER.
THEN ONE DAY YOU WILL FEEL THE SUNSHINE ON YOUR SKIN, THE WIND REALLY BLOWING IN YOUR HAIR, BUT WAY DOWN DEEP INSIDE THIS PARENTS CRY WILL COME AGAIN OF THIS, YOU CAN BE SURE.
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD A PARENT CRY?
Copyright by Cheryl Young www.rememberedbyus.com/SandiLoraineCobb
Matt,
I found this poem on a website called Groww..... it just spoke to my very soul.... our child... our children, each one, are such a huge part of our very being- hard to put into words just the magnitude of a parents love to their children... each one is as if the only one. Losing you has been the hardest thing all of us have ever had to deal with... the pain is always there even though we know you are in perfect health and perfect peace and happiness. We are still in an unperfect world here... just longing to be with you, to see you, to touch you, to watch you mature into the man you were supposed to be- forever 22...young, handsome, and just beginning your life.
We love you beyond love... stay near to all of us honey- let us know you are near.
Forever our love,
Mom, Dad, Kerri, Todd, and all of your nephews, Aunts, Uncles, and Grandparents, and friends....
Happy Birthday Matt ...July 15th 2008 / Mom
Happy Birthday Matt...You would be 26 on the 15th...The song comes to mind once again- "Who You'd Be Today"...We can hardly believe it has been this long- it feels like yesterday you left us. Wish I could see you for a day in heaven and all the beauty you are in now and what your life is like there. Your birthday celebration is so much better than we can ever imagine. We miss you every single moment still, I still look for you everywhere I go, everywhere I am. Daddy goes to your grave and spends time with you and cares for your flowers. They are glorious this year Matt. Be with us at the beach. Todd, Jenn and the 3 boys and Dad and I are going tonight. Ride with us, ask God to keep us safe, and warch over Kerri and Shawn and the boys while we are gone. Be back on here when I can honey, as soon as I can. Love you forever and always- Happy Birthday...Mom, Dad, and all of the family.
How do I begin to write to you when you have been gone from us for three years Matt? It feels as if we live in a vacuum still. You in Heaven-us on earth.
Every day is as hard as the day before-yet somehow life keeps us moving each day. You somehow let us know you are with us. So many signs, and I don't miss a one. Ohhh Matt, how do I stop asking why? We loved you beyond love, would have done anything and everything to keep you with us. It seems God had a different plan for you- for us. No matter what we did, the doors were shut to us. You said all you ever needed was Daddy & I....and your sister and brother... and your nephews. Something happened inside your body, which we couldn't- nor the doctors couldn't get to. I torture myself saying what more should we have done? Why were we all so blind sighted?
All I do know, is that you are with your Grandfather, June, Elaine, Beau, Buddy, and that God has you in the psalm of his hand. You are healthy and whole, smiling that beautiful smile, those darkest sparkling brown eyes are shining brighter than they ever did here. You are loved with agape love- no bigger love than this- even all of us can't love you with that kind of love from God. How do we fill the hole that is sooooooo big in each of us left behind? Help us honey, to keep putting one foot in front of the other- to be there for each other- to love - to live- to laugh- as you would want us to do...
My Matthew, oh God- how I miss you- how we all miss you- Wish you were here to meet our new baby- Daniel Keith King- I will meet him tomorrow. You have already - somehow I know.
Ask God to put his hands and blessings on all of your nephews, honey. To keep them safe from harm, and to have a full life and to not send anymore grief... I pray for Kerri, Todd, and Daddy to heal every day. The pain inside them hurts me so deeply. Help all of us who have lost our child- to find a way to go on.
Stay near my Matt- I feel you behind me now as I type this- looking over my shoulder as you always did- saying, "relax Mom".... and then giving me that smile of yours.......
Come to my dreams honey, show me how you are- where you are- give us peace - until we are together again.
All my love, forever and always,
Mama
3rd Angel Date / Jenn Rodgers (sister-in-law)
Hey Matt, Cannot believe it has been 3 years since we last heard your voice, seen your face, gave you a hug. Still cannot believe this is real. I know you are watching over us all, but we wish so much you were here....coming to see the boys, Alex, Ryan, Brayden and Garrett play tball. seeing Taylor, Collin and Daniel for the first time (although I am sure you met them before we here did). What we would give for one more day to spend with you. I would not want anything more than to have All of us, once again together as a family, up at Mom and Dad's. All the nephews playing in the creek, Mom making enough food to feed an army (which is good practice for when the 7 boys are older ), just the usual get together. just to see you smile and hear your laugh once more would be a dream come true.
I know you are in a better place, free from any pain and suffering you had here on earth, that is what I have to tell myself every time I am angry questioning why we cannot have you here with us. I now have to find peace in the fact that you will be waiting for us when it is our time to join you in Heaven.
Continuing watching over us, especially the boys. 7 nephews will keep you busy !!! but I know there is nothing Uncle Matt cannot handle.
LOVE & MISS YOU!!
Jenn
Your Mother's tears surrounding you by her love.. / Sue Smith (18th June 2008 )
~June 18th 2008~
In loving memory of
'Matthew'
my thoughts are with you and all of your family
and friends.
Much love always Sue XOXOXOX
Metamorphosis/ Cheryl ^Jeremy^ Radford (Connected by Angels )
Matt, I thought your Mom {Diane} may enjoy this verse as I so often see the joy the presence of butterflies bring.
Snapping fibers of cocoon
Blinding brilliance of high noon
Wings unfolding, spreading, dry
Coast is clear, my darling....FLY!!
(Gina Schmitz)
Mother's Day 2008 / Sue Smith (friend of Diane )
For my dear and loyal friend Diane,
Thank-you for always being there for me.
With love to you always.
Sue
XOXOXOX
Mother's Day 2008 / Diane Rodgers (Mom)
Hi honey, Another Mother's Day has come and gone... Spending the day with your brother and sister and all of the boys and Gram Kepple here at home. Having all of the kids here was very helpful to get through the day. I hope you were here to see how big all of the boys are getting, and what a great job Kerri & Jenn and Shawn & Todd are doing in raising them. Your nephews miss you.....their Uncle Matt will foever be in their hearts.
Please watch over Kerri as she is in her last weeks of carrying your 7th nephew & she is feeling so tired & heavy with child... help them to decide the perfect name, and give him a kiss for us .... you see him before we do...
Watch over Collin as he goes for ear tubes on your brother's birthday Wednesday. Keep him safe & healthy....Alex and Ryan too with their coughing.... Oh Matt... Watch over all of us honey, stay close as best you can, and know how much you are loved & so gravely missed..... Someday we will be able to hug & see one another again...just seems so far off.
We love you, forever & always....
Mom xox
For Matt & his Mom ....Mother's Day 2008 / Angie Trevizo (friend from sites )
Happy Mothers Day / Angie Trevizo Mom Of Christopher
Thank you for visiting Chris and always leaving kind words and beautiful gifts of graphic and love. God Bless you and send you comfort. Matt has an angel on earth. Love Angie
Happy Easter in Heaven, Matt... We miss you so... / Diane Rodgers (Mom)
Hi honey, Easter time has come once again, with us here, and you there. It is 2008, nearly 3 years since you passed to heaven. Impossible to take in still, but we do know you are (because of what Easter means) complete, healthy, whole, and happy. It is us who are left behind that are having such a hard time until we too can be there with you. Only then will we fully understand and our pain will be changed to joy...
We love you Matthew, so very much. Stay near to us all honey. Spring is here, butterflies about to return...
Forever and always our love...
Happy St. Patrick's Day, Matt ... 2008 / Diane Rodgers (Mom)
Hi Matt,
This is the hardest time, at your sister's birthday, trying to celebrate when it is so hard to do with you not here with us. Kerri is so heart broken, she misses you so much I can't even begin to tell you how deep it goes. You know honey, as it is the same for you. Stay near to her, to all of us ... We love you forever and always ...
Thinking of you & your family at Easter Matthew X / Sue-Matthew Sturzaker's Mum (( 2008 ) )
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