How do I begin to write to you when you have been gone from us for three years Matt? It feels as if we live in a vacuum still. You in Heaven-us on earth.
Every day is as hard as the day before-yet somehow life keeps us moving each day. You somehow let us know you are with us. So many signs, and I don't miss a one. Ohhh Matt, how do I stop asking why? We loved you beyond love, would have done anything and everything to keep you with us. It seems God had a different plan for you- for us. No matter what we did, the doors were shut to us. You said all you ever needed was Daddy & I....and your sister and brother... and your nephews. Something happened inside your body, which we couldn't- nor the doctors couldn't get to. I torture myself saying what more should we have done? Why were we all so blind sited?
All I do know, is that you are with your Grandfather, June, Elaine, Beau, Buddy, and that God has you in the psalm of his hands. You are healthy and whole, smiling that beautiful smile, those darkest sparkeling brown eyes are shining brighter than they ever did here. You are loved with agape love- no bigger love than this- even all of us can't love you with that kind of love from God. How do we fill the hole that is sooooooo big in each of us left behind? Help us honey, to keep putting one foot in front of the other- to be there for each other- to love - to live- to laugh- as you would want us to do...
My Matthew, oh God- how I miss you- how we all miss you- Wish you were here to meet our new baby- Daniel Keith King- I will meet him tomorrow. You have already somehow I know.
Ask God to put his hands and blessings on all of your nephews, honey. To keep they safe from harm, and to have a full life and to not send anymore grief... I pray for Kerri, Todd, and Daddy to heal every day. The pain inside them hurts me so deeply. Help all of us who have lost our child- to find a way to go on.
Stay near my Matt- I feel you behind me now as I type this- looking over my shoulder as you always did- saying, "relax Mom".... and then giving me that smile of yours.......
Come to my dreams honey, show me how you are- where you are- give us peace - until we are together again.
All my love, forever and always,
Mama
3rd Angel Date / Jenn Rodgers (sister-in-law)
Hey Matt, Cannot believe it has been 3 years since we last heard your voice, seen your face, gave you a hug. Still cannot believe this is real. I know you are watching over us all, but we wish so much you were here....coming to see the boys, Alex, Ryan, Brayden and Garrett play tball. seeing Taylor, Collin and Daniel for the first time (although I am sure you met them before we here did). What we would give for one more day to spend with you. I would not want anything more than to have All of us, once again together as a family, up at Mom and Dad's. All the nephews playing in the creek, Mom making enough food to feed an army (which is good practice for when the 7 boys are older ), just the usual get together. just to see you smile and hear your laugh once more would be a dream come true.
I know you are in a better place, free from any pain and suffering you had here on earth, that is what I have to tell myself every time I am angry questioning why we cannot have you here with us. I now have to find peace in the fact that you will be waiting for us when it is our time to join you in Heaven.
Continuing watching over us, especially the boys. 7 nephews will keep you busy !!! but I know there is nothing Uncle Matt cannot handle.
LOVE & MISS YOU!!
Jenn
Your Mother's tears surrounding you by her love.. / Sue Smith (18th June 2008 )
~June 18th 2008~
In loving memory of
'Matthew'
my thoughts are with you and all of your family
and friends.
Much love always Sue XOXOXOX
Metamorphosis/ Cheryl ^Jeremy^ Radford (Connected by Angels )
Matt, I thought your Mom {Diane} may enjoy this verse as I so often see the joy the presence of butterflies bring.
Snapping fibers of cocoon
Blinding brilliance of high noon
Wings unfolding, spreading, dry
Coast is clear, my darling....FLY!!
(Gina Schmitz)
Mother's Day 2008 / Sue Smith (friend of Diane )
For my dear and loyal friend Diane,
Thank-you for always being there for me.
With love to you always.
Sue
XOXOXOX
Mother's Day 2008 / Diane Rodgers (Mom)
Hi honey, Another Mother's Day has come and gone... Spending the day with your brother and sister and all of the boys and Gram Kepple here at home. Having all of the kids here was very helpful to get through the day. I hope you were here to see how big all of the boys are getting, and what a great job Kerri & Jenn and Shawn & Todd are doing in raising them. Your nephews miss you.....their Uncle Matt will foever be in their hearts.
Please watch over Kerri as she is in her last weeks of carrying your 7th nephew & she is feeling so tired & heavy with child... help them to decide the perfect name, and give him a kiss for us .... you see him before we do...
Watch over Collin as he goes for ear tubes on your brother's birthday Wednesday. Keep him safe & healthy....Alex and Ryan too with their coughing.... Oh Matt... Watch over all of us honey, stay close as best you can, and know how much you are loved & so gravely missed..... Someday we will be able to hug & see one another again...just seems so far off.
We love you, forever & always....
Mom xox
For Matt & his Mom ....Mother's Day 2008 / Angie Trevizo (friend from sites )
Happy Mothers Day / Angie Trevizo Mom Of Christopher
Thank you for visiting Chris and always leaving kind words and beautiful gifts of graphic and love. God Bless you and send you comfort. Matt has an angel on earth. Love Angie
Happy Easter in Heaven, Matt... We miss you so... / Diane Rodgers (Mom)
Hi honey, Easter time has come once again, with us here, and you there. It is 2008, nearly 3 years since you passed to heaven. Impossible to take in still, but we do know you are (because of what Easter means) complete, healthy, whole, and happy. It is us who are left behind that are having such a hard time until we too can be there with you. Only then will we fully understand and our pain will be changed to joy...
We love you Matthew, so very much. Stay near to us all honey. Spring is here, butterflies about to return...
Forever and always our love...
Happy St. Patrick's Day, Matt ... 2008 / Diane Rodgers (Mom)
Hi Matt,
This is the hardest time, at your sister's birthday, trying to celebrate when it is so hard to do with you not here with us. Kerri is so heart broken, she misses you so much I can't even begin to tell you how deep it goes. You know honey, as it is the same for you. Stay near to her, to all of us ... We love you forever and always ...
Thinking of you & your family at Easter Matthew X / Sue-Matthew Sturzaker's Mum (( 2008 ) )
Another New Year... It is 2008.... 2 1/2 years without our Matt... / Diane Rodgers (Mom)
My Matt, As always it is very hard to face the fact you are not with us here as we all wish. We are still trying each day to go forward, to go on the best we can. Some days are ok, others.... not so ok. Still wishing this was not real, but it is. So honey, from all of us to you... Happy 2008 in Heaven. We do know you are happy, we are the sad ones left behind. Tell Pap, Elaine, June, Grandpap Gallo, Grandma Hepler & Grandpap, oh Matt.......so many..... tell them all we love them and miss them & that they best be taking good care of you! Stay close honey, to all of us... Forever our love, Mom xox
For Matt ... Christmas of 2007 / Diane Rodgers (Mom)
All of the lights, All of the cheer, Christmas is sad, With you not here.
We are missing you so much, Matt. Our third Christmas without you is as hard as the first. Please be near to us ... as close ... as ever before...
We all love and miss you Matt, so very much ... so many wonderful, full, and happy memories we have of you ...
Forever our love honey, Mom & Dad & all of us... xoxox
For the Rodgers family. Christmas 2007 / Sue Smith
Dearest Diane, Tim and family. Wishing all a wonderful and gentle Christmas.
With much love from Sue XOXOX
MERRY CHRISTMAS / Nancy Davis
A Christmas card sent by the Ehrmans, '07 / Diane Rodgers (Mom)
My Matt, Dad and I recieved this beautiful, thoughtful card today from your buddy ... Craig's parents ... the Ehrmans. They have been so kind these past 2 and 1/2 years since you left us. This was the best gift we have recieved, just reading this and having them tell us the boys, all your buddies, remember you and still talk of you, and include you still as one of the guys! Thank you, Marilee and Bob, for your love and care to us, and please thank all of Matt's friends for us ... for remembering our Matthew. Merry Christmas and God's blessings to all of you ...
PRECIOUS ANGEL MATTHEW AND FAMILY / ROSE GRMA TO ANGEL BRITTANY SYFERT
Christmas 2007 / Sue-Matthew Sturzaker's Mum
Thanksgiving of 2007 / Diane Rodgers (Mom)
Matt,
At Thanksgiving,we are so very thankful we had you for almost 23 years, and that you are in Heaven, where there are no more tears...
"If Tomorrow Starts Without Me" I've dreamed many dreams that never came true, If tomorrow starts without me, And I'm not there to see, If the sun should rise and find your eyes All filled with tears for me; I wish so much you wouldn't cry The way you did today, While thinking of the many things, We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me, As much as I love you, And each time that you think of me, I know you'll miss me too; But when tomorrow starts without me, Please try to understand, That an angel came and called my name, And took me by the hand, And said my place was ready, In heaven far above, And that I'd have to leave behind All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away, A tear fell from my eye For all my life, I'd always thought, I didn't want to die. I had so much to live for, So much left yet to do, It seemed almost impossible, That I was leaving you. I thought of all the yesterdays, The good ones and the bad, The thought of all the love we shared, And all the fun we had. If I could relive yesterday, Just even for a while, I'd say good-bye and kiss you And maybe see you smile. But then I fully realized, That this could never be, For emptiness and memories, Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things, I might miss come tomorrow, I thought of you, and when I did, My heart was filled with sorrow. But when I walked through heaven's gates, I felt so much at home. When God looked down and smiled at me, From His great golden throne, He said, "This is eternity, And all I've promised you." Today your life on earth is past, But here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, But today will always last, And since each day's the same way There's no longing for the past. You have been so faithful, So trusting and so true. Though there were times You did some things You knew you shouldn't do. But you have been forgiven And now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand And share my life with me? So when tomorrow starts without me, Don't think we're far apart, For every time you think of me, I'm right here, in your heart. Author "David M Romano
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